Thanks for the feedback

by Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen

Thanks for the Feedback

The science and art of receiving feedback well

Click below to get this book

So how do you give and receive feedback? For most people it doesn't come naturally. For some it's even terrifying. Even more when it's off-base, unfair, poorly delivered, and frankly you're not in the mood.


As you can see, the cover says a lot about what you'll learn in this book. Thanks for the feedback will teach you the science, and the art, of giving but more importantly of receiving feedback. All of this with examples and in a rather funny way.
In the book's 5 main parts, you will learn the key tips & tricks that can be used every day at work, with friends, family and, perhaps most importantly, with your significant other.
Part 1 lays the book's foundation, describing three feedback triggers of truth, relationship and identity. The triggers make us block the feedback but are also the milestones on the route to understanding the core of our reactions. They are discussed in detail in the next 3 parts of the book.


Part 2 goes deeper into the truth triggers and talks about types of feedback, understanding and blind spots. Appreciation, coaching and evaluation are different types of feedback and are all necessary when giving feedback in a proper way.


Part 3 focuses on relationship triggers. Changing topics and identifying the relationship system are key to understanding these triggers.


Part 4 tells us about identity triggers and focuses on the self. Naturally, not all people react to feedback in the same way. Different people hear different things when the same story is being told. It concludes with a chapter on cultivating a growth identity and mindset, something we focus on heavily on


The final part of the book gives some practical tips on feedback in conversations. It talks about boundaries, navigating the conversation and some tools to "Get Going".


Another must read on softskills. Really helped me understand the why and how of feedback in all kinds of ways and I apply it daily at work & at home!



This book helped me understand that there really are three types of feedback - appreciation, coaching and evaluation - and that different situations/people call for different types of feedback. Seems easy enough, but can be quite difficult in practice to know which type is called for in a given situation.